Barriers

I have this problem. I avoid myself, and others. I set up barriers. My main barrier: boys... they keep me away from who I truly am, make me do stupid things. Since being away from boys for over a year now, I have found so many more barriers that I put up on a daily basis, excuses, etc. In order to let down my barriers I have to be painfully honest with myself. So painfully honest. I will admit, there have been times where I have wanted to give up and go back to my old ways. Just live my life oblivious to the world and my barriers. Living inside myself, and barricaded from myself all at the same time. Completely Isolated from the world and myself, not knowing who I really am, completely and utterly alone. I have two amazing best friends who have been there for me through this whole thing, they recognize my barriers now that I am telling them about them and they are forcing me to be honest with myself, even when it is so hard. So I am challenging anyone reading this, if you ever do anything as a quick and easy fix to make yourself feel better, or to try and hide from something, or to try and fit in. STOP. NOW. seriously. It is not worth it, be yourself, God made you the way you are for a reason. He also made you human, unable to see his full plan from where you are now, so if it seems like life is going nowhere... hang in there. God has showed me that he has a plan with every wind blowing, every snowflake that falls. Everything has a reason. Love yourself, God doesn't make mistakes.

Who eats a dead bird?

The other day I went to bread co, I was sitting down to eat when I looked down and there was a chunk of a DEAD BIRD on my table... a piece of carcass... a slice of an flesh on the table. I think the person before me was eating it.... I mean seriously. It was a slice of turkey but I hadn't been that close to meat in a long time and it totally took me off guard, that some animal had died... and then some human had sliced its dead body up and served it to someone... and then that person left pieces of their dead-body-meal on my table. That is all I could think about when I saw it... who eats a dead bird?

STUFFED CRUST and STUFFED BELLY

My dad and I made pizza last night. He never liked cheese so we only put Daiya on my half. I know before I had mentioned to use Daiya sparingly because of its miraculous melting capabilities... but I just love it too much. I used a whole bag on my side and the stuffed crust...and on eating it out of the bag... woops! We also had black olives and tomatoes (his side only!) To stuff the crust I just pulled up on the crust, shoved in some Daiya, and pinched it down! probably best done before you put the sauce on but I was A) too excited about having pizza and B) making stuffed crust for the first time and wasn't thinking technically. It turned out really well... however the crust could have used more Daiya... better yet everything could use more Daiya, but that is beside the point. I LOVED it, and hadn't had stuffed crust in years! If you think you can't go vegan because of the cheese, this will change your mind! Marvel in the beauty of Daiya!

A clarification is in order

I wanted to bring up a very important note. Not all vegan's are exactly the same. This is extremely crucial to remember. Not all humans are the same either. Where each individual draws the line is their own decision and no one has the right to question this. I personally consume honey, sugars that are processed with bone char, and I am sure tons of other enzymes and whatnot. I do not consume gelatin or eggs, dairy, whey, casein, and the like. I do however have a don't ask don't tell policy when I go out to eat with things like bread or noodles, as dairy in these will not cause me to get sick. I do not want people thinking being vegan is a drag and I don't want waiters spitting in my food. You may disagree with this, feel free, just know that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and just that. It swings both ways. Just be aware that I am not really concerned with trace amounts of potential animal derived ingredients (like glycerides, etc) if you are, double check your ingredients before following my recipes. And please, be respectful of everyone's choices. Being vegan is about being compassionate (for some people) and ragging on someone for not being "vegan-enough" like vegetarians, pescatarians, and flexitarians is not compassionate. They are on your side, so harping on them about when they are going to take the plunge is inconsiderate. It will be more beneficial if you are a good friend and walk with them through life, remember they are a sentient being as well and deserve just as much respect as the animal you are trying to save.

My First Potluck

I went to my first potluck a couple of weeks ago. I decided I would bring mini cupcakes because that is what I would have wanted to eaten, and mini because they are easy to grab and go quick. I made a vanilla batter from Vegan Cupcakes Takeover the World. I separated it into three and put lemon extract in one, chocolate chips in the other, and (mini) oreo crumbles in the other. I poured them into a mini batter pan. The only difference is that I split the mini oreos and put them in the bottom of the cookies and cream liners. 

Then for the buttercream. Great news!!! I FINALLLY GOT MY BUTTERCREAM TO WORK!

I again split it up and added oreo crumbles for the cookies and cream, left it plain for the chocolate chip ones, and added lemon and yellow food coloring for the lemon ones. I think they turned out really great!

Pie Town

I just found out there is a pie contest this fall that one of my dad's running friends family hosts. So from now until thanksgiving I will be baking one pie a week. This week I chose this pie. It is still cooling but it smells and looks soooo good. The filling tasted delicious!

For the subs:
We used pecans instead of walnuts
Ener-g egg replacer for butter
Agave instead of honey
We used dark and semi-sweet chocolate

I also used this pie crust recipe

It only made one pie instead of the two... but it was pretty easy to make.

BolderBoulder 2012

We have our rooms booked for BolderBoulder... I am doing it... I really want to make it my goal to run all 6.2 miles. It sounds like such a short distance, but it will kill me. That is why I started training today. I ran a little over a mile in 12.21.1 That is pretty darn good, seeing as when I started running last time I was running low 12 minute miles, a lot lower than that. I just really need to get in to see a nutritionist and work up a good meal and training program so that I don't get hurt. I really want to be a runner, I would love to be able to run a half with my sister.... anyway that is kind of how things are going today. I will keep updated on how the running and baking is going, etc.